im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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