she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
