she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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