Pants 0. Shit 1.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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