WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
