Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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