sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
