I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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