My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
