if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
