also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
