Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
