Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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