i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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