I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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