It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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