quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
