Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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