I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
