Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
