I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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