$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
