if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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