you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Welp...herpes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
