you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
