i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
