she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize