remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
sex in a hospital.. check
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
