What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just had sex on a roof
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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