The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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