I think I died a long time ago.
Fuck appropriateness.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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