You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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