another moral hangover. fuck.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
