My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
