i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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