one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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