You really coming over, don't trick.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
