I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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