I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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