Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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