Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize