sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
