I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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