Well apparently he's into motor boating.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
