Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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