jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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