3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
