did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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