its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
