I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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