I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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