I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Randomize