i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
