No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
