Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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