is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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