He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize