I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
