If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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