Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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