New invention idea: vibrating tampons
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
