What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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