Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
