Please, let me fuck your mom
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
