she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
