Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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