Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
